post-christmas blues

i have not felt this low in a long time. i cant even begin to tell you why i feel this way, not because i dont understand - just for fear of giving to much information. for the past few nights i have been thinking about it. thinking about how i wish everyone who loved me would forget about me so that i could just go away. i was thinking about going away. not on a trip. i thought i could make life better for others if i did. it would be easer then living. its not the first time i have thought about it. this was the closest i got though. dont worry i am pretty much chicken all the time- i know it wont really happen. but i was scared and wanted someone to hold my hand and there was nobody.

there was nobody to hold my hand.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to all! I know its just the eve but I figured early is better then late. I wish for you all to be healthy and happy, and a few fun things under the christmas tree from santa. :)