feeling just a bit inadequate

life gets me into the worse places sometimes. like right now i am feel the rejection hurt. this is job number three that does not want me. and i really wanted this one. how come it was so easy last summer but this summer nothing seems to want to work out. so my back up plan is taking classes in my home town. i dont much like that idea because it means working a min wage job on the side. i dont know if i can make myself go back to that type of work place. eaither way i am sure i will be home for the summer. it just will remind me of last summer so much. being home full time. i dont know if i can handle it. its easy being away. nothing here reminds me of her. she never even got to visit my apartment. i know it will be painful. and i miss her extra already.

in addition to my inadequacy's in the job area, i was sitting in a room today with 9 girls, all of which are in healthy relationships with a boy. talk about feeling left out. they were going on and on about how great it is to have a boyfriend. i know i am not capable of that right now but i cant help but one it anyway.

*sigh*

I know I need to just let my life go a little bit and see where it takes me. Walk the road with my head high. Its just so much harder to do then to say.