do you know what time it is?

up at 6am to register for classes. not that that was a problem because i was not sleeping in the first place. i just watched the minutes and hours pass by on my digital clock. i would lay strangely tonight. no blankets. i felt like i wanted to be cold. plus all my blankets remind me of her. she crochets, made most of my blankets. i just tucked my teddy bear under my chin and pulled my knees up towards my chest. sometimes i would have to feel my heart just to make sure it was still going or was not going to fast. i stopped crying at around 3am. i think i ran out of tears. now i feel as dehydrated as a wildebeest during the dry season on the savanna. my head is pretty light and my hands as well. i wonder how she is right now. same? will she ever great me again? will she ever make another blanket?

in a way i wish i could turn off comments about now. i feel as if i would rather just pretend to be alone. like nobody cares. its easer if nobody cares.