this world

what can i expect from this world, this life. i feel like i have lost so much allready. cousin, aunt, grandfather, uncle, and my nonna who is leaving me as i type these words. i feel like i was not a child for very long. i was just a kid but i knew i had to be more. i allways feel like i have to be more. maybe thats why i strive to be the top in my class, maybe why i feel like i need to care for nonna. but whatever the reason i am who i am. i guess time will move on, i will have a life again, i will have my own family. i hope i am a better person becuase of my life so far, but how can you really tell- maybe i would be a better person if i dident have all this pain built up in me.