I am home for the weekend. First stop: visiting Nonna. It was pretty rough. I got that and found that she didn't have her oxygen hooked up, and she was trying to get up which she cant do anymore. Also about 5 bags were out in the hall with her probably because she thought she was going home or something. She screamed when I walked up to her. Not that she really knew who I was, but she knew I was someone. We spent time just sitting. Then I gave her the newspaper, she looked at it for a while. She was pretty quite. I tried to get her to talk to me but all she said was "I am old." Thats a common response for her. The nurse came early to put her to bed.
The empty bed in Nonna's room was pretty upsetting. I tried to pretend that it wasn't there. I tried to act as if it was normal. As if nobody used to be there. Fact is someone was there. I wont forget her, even if I don't let on. I will keep moving. I will keep pretending. Its the only way to stay sane.
I am thinking of you Lori. I am thinking of you all. Know that I love you.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
home for the weekend
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4 comments:
Have I mentioned - You're a good grandaughter.
Even though Nona isn't calling you by name, I believe she knows who you are. Somewhere, deep inside she knows. And she knows you are kind and loving to her.
it is so hard to see our loved one's at this stage stef. you are a wonderful granddaughter for continuing to keep nonna in your heart. deep down she knows and loves you too. unfortunately not all do. bless you.
Glad you're home for the weekend.
I'm glad you have this time to spend with nonna. I also thinks she knows you. I'm sure she would not have screamed for just anyone.
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