My loves (read if you dare)

I have not known a lot of old people in my life. Those who I have known have impacted me in a very deep way. They have changed my life for the better because of there experiences and wise guidance. So this post is for the old people in my life now and those who have left me behind to continue on in life. I have always valued you but until now I maybe did not know how much.

When I was 13 my Aunt Julie died. Her name was Angela actually, Jullinel is an Italian way to say it so shorted and made American its Julie. She is my Grandmothers sister on my dad's side of the family. So that would make her my Great Aunt Julie, but in my family none of that matters. She and my grandpa her brother in law owned a grocery store in the Italian neighborhood. When I knew her she was a pretty sick woman. She had diabetes and hardly ever took good care of herself. She loved animals so much that she always had at least one. She had a Tootsie I that was killed by my grandpa, and a Tootsie II who was killed by my aunt but that was before my time. Then she had Velvet and Peter. Don't remember Velvet much because he died when I was young but Peter was pure evil. He was a poodle and used to sit on my aunts lap and bite anyone who would try and pass by. He died of suicide we say, because one day my aunt woke up and found his dead body tangled in his blankets. She felt pretty awful while the rest of us were glad he was gone. I wrote her a note and said "I am sorry your dog died. My mom says your sad, so I am sad too even though I never liked that dog. I love you, feel better." I was maybe 10. The death of peter although tragic left an opening for a new pet. That new pet would be Heidi. I went with her the day she picked out Heidi. My mom even gave her the name suggestion. A German name for a dog that is originally from Germany. She loved Heidi, and so did I and she knew that. So when she went into the hospital 3 years later I was charged to take care of her until she was better. When they told me one morning that Aunt Julie had passed away I started sobbing right away. I had to stop myself though to ask "Who is going to take care of Heidi?" My dad who was very close to his Aunt said we would. And thats where Aunt Julie's story ended and mine began. I learned from her to love everyone even the animals. I learned from her to laugh when everyone else is laughing at you. I learned from her to keep family close and to care for them always. My Heidi serves as a reminder to me of that but she is getting old (12 years old) and I will have to remind myself in the future. I never did and never will doubt her love for me.

My grandpa. He died when I was 17 years old, three years ago this March. He was my only grandpa as my other grandfather (Nonna's husband) died when my mom was 13. With no other grandfather to be compared to I thought he was perfect. I still do. He cooked almost every Sunday for us when I was a child. He loved food and he loved seeing all of us get together and have lots of laughs. Laughing was maybe second to cooking in his favorite things to do. I still remember the way he used to laugh. It was a chuckle. Not to loud but always lasted a good long time if the joke was funny enough. He was good at telling jokes too. He loved all women, and even was kind of a flirt. He and my grandmother were very happy together for more then 50 years of marriage, luckily my grandmother laughed almost as well as he did at all is silliness. At the old store that he and Aunt Julie owned together they decided to sell fireworks which are illegal in NY. A policeman came in and asked who owned the store. My grandpa points right to good natured Aunt Julie. Well they take her away to the station and my grandpa runs home to tell his wife that her sister is in jail. When he gets there is is laughing so hard he can barely get the words out. I think my grandma was pretty wonderful not to divorce him right then and there! He was a joker that man, and I loved every single min I got to spend with him. I only wish I could have had more time with him. He died right before I graduated High school. I found myself wishing every day that he could have just been there for that. I know he would be so proud of me. He would have hugged me with one of his wonderful grandpa hugs, and I would feel the love. I learned from him the importance of laughter and a good meal. I also learned about love from this man who I never doubted how much he loved me.

My Nonna. I don't think I need to put much here. Everyone reading understands how important she was to my life. I would not be the woman I am today if it was not for this woman. She helped raise me, she was both fun to be around and a bit of a discipline figure sometimes. She would not let me get away with not doing homework because she knew I was smart and could do it all plus some. She had a whole life time before she met me, but when I was born, I believe she fell in love. So much so that she generously moved in to help care for me as a very small child. She never thought twice about that choice. Though her last years on this earth were not with out trouble I never once thought she did not love me. I truly believe that she is in heaven right now bragging about me and her other grandkids to my Nonno who never had the chance to met us. She loved me, and I know it always.

My grandmother who is still living. I have not always understood my grandmother. She can be cold at times even. I know I have always loved her. She raised my father and loved my grandfather. She has also helped me though college. Although her love may not always be so tangible I do believe she loves me always.

I love these people so deeply. Its almost as if they are apart of me. They made me who I am today. If when I am older I can begin to give back to people as they have given to me, well then I will be one very lucky old woman. Thank you to those who came before me. I could never forget any of you.