I got a sudden wave of sadness. I was setting up the Christmas decorations today for my mom. I know she wont do it if I don't and since I leave tomorrow I figured I better. It was the stockings. I took them out and realized there were 5. mom, dad, brother, sister, and nonna. It was so swift. Just knocked me right off my feet like a huge gust of wind. I flash back to every Christmas morning for the past 20 years. My mom and dad sitting on the sofa watching. My brother and me on the floor unwrapping presents. Then when we were done I would go wake her up. When we were younger she would wake up on her own but not recently. I would sit with her and help her open all her presents. She loved presents. She would be so excited for even just a pair of socks. She loved simple practical gifts. It just cant be Christmas with out her it just cant be.
Going up to see the baby now. He is in neonatal intensive care still. Seems like he is having some breathing problems. I really hope he is alright. I just cant take it if he is not alright. I miss nonna.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Sad
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3 comments:
I know that it has to be hard to see something that brings back so many memories....You are in my thoughts and prayers...
Those waves come periodically for everyone - at first they feel like a tidal wave and eventually like a small lapping of water at your feet. That's when you can remember things with a smile. But it does take time. A lot of time. Hang in there, Stef.
those times when a memory hits you unexpectedly can really throw you for a loop. i can only hope as betsy says that eventually they will only bring smiles, not tears. hang in there kiddo!
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