Yesterday I am sure was the start of something. Maybe the rest of my life. Maybe just a new phase. But there was nothing to plan. No funeral or thanksgiving. There was nobody to visit. No nursing home to rush off to. There was nobody to even cook dinner for so I eat rice from a bag. It was something new. Not sure I like it much yet though.
I miss her smell. Her over perfumed self. I miss the way she spoke. Half English half Italian. I miss her glasses. How she straightened them before she talked. I miss her clothing. Nothing fancy just plan.
Yesterday we got a letter from our local drug store. A condolence card. It was really nice of them to think of us. It made me feel pretty awful tough. I almost forgot about when she used to live with us how often I would have to go to the drug store to pick up her pills. She took so many pills it was an hour project to get them organized every week. Sunday nights normally my mom would do it. Sit around with her 15 pill bottles and put them into daily containers for her.
I miss how she used to talk about my wedding. She would say how much she wanted to be there and of course how much she wanted me to marry an Italian man. I am not sure I will ever be married. I am not sure I will ever even date an Italian man. I guess all I am sure of is if I do get married I will miss her so much on that day. Her earrings that she wore everyday of my life will be my something old, borrowed and blue. My mom promised me that.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thoughts
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7 comments:
Yes sweetie, it is a new beginning for you. There will be times of saddness and tears but you have so much ahead of you. Nonna will always be with you.
Thinking of you today Stef...Sending Hugs your way.
i think that was so sweet that your mom told you that nonna's earrings would be your something old, borrowed and blue. see your nonna will always be with you!
Oh Stef my heart breaks for you. Nonna will be with you always. On your good days and your not so good days. It is like you said "new beginning." You are in my thoughts today as you are everyday...gentle hugs and I love you little buddy...
Nonna will always be a part of you because she is in your heart. As the years go on, there will be times when you think, "What would Nonna do?" And then you will have your answer. She will continue to guide you only in a different way.
You probably will marry, you will probably marry an Italian and you will definitely wear those earrings. It's just hard to think that far in the future right now.
(((hugs))) Stef. Hang in there.
I'm sorry you're so sad, Stef. Your Nonna will always be with you. How wonderful that your mom is saving her earrings for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Gentle hugs sweetie...she will always be with you.
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