A friend got me thinking...
Why does god choose one person to join him and not another? I want to understand I do. I want to have faith that Nonna still has work to be done here on earth but its just so hard to see it. This might be the most selfish and terrible thing I have ever said on this blog before but I feel as if I have to say it now. When my good blogging friends lost there loved ones I almost felt forgotten. Just another finger pointed at me and my grandmother saying your different. You don't get peace yet. I have for a long time struggled with feeling like I don't fit with this group. I am 20 years old. I go to college. My grandmother is in a nursing home. I don't even live in the same town as her anymore. I feel so different so much of the time. I cant fit in with people my age, and I cant fit in with people who are 40 something and have lived so much of life.
I also wanted to add. I did not realize that I was the first of most of us to start blogging. Now it makes sense because when I started in April nobody would respond at all. It was Nancy who first responded to my blog in April but she did not have a blog back then. It was not until July 26th that I got responses from some of the people (Terry, Lori, Nancy) who now regularly visit my blog. Its funny looking back at this family and how we started. After that hardly a post has gone by with out a comment or two. Thanks for reading guys I don't know if I would still be bothering with this blog if it was not for you guys appearing and making it all seem worth while.
PS Betsy your the only one who OUT-blogs me from the people I link to on my blog! lol why did it take us so long to find each other?
Saturday, November 3, 2007
you got me
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7 comments:
stef, you certainly belong as the next one of us. there are no set qualifications to belong or not. we all love or have loved someone special to us with AD. bless you my friend. "you got me too!"
I want to say something to you about the age difference. You mention it a lot. I am 52. Helen was my best friend and would have been 75 today, Do you see an age difference??? I was 20 when I met her and she was 42. My closest friend now is 62. Do you see the age difference??? Soooooo, no more of this saying you don't belong because you are 20. Got It?!? ;)
way to go lori!!! listen to her stef!
:( lori yelled at me
Age ain't nothin but a number baby.
I turn a year older this month and frankly it doesn't matter anymore. Slightly off topic but I have earned every gray hair and veiracose vein on my legs.
Like Nancy said, there are no qualifications to this group. And you are a caregiver to Nonna. You don't have to be with an LO 24/7 to be caregiver. To me, a person simply has to have the capacity and desire to love and act in their LO's best interest.
Please be gentle with yourself sweetie. We care for and adore you. And it makes us sad you are so danged hard on yourself.
I hope you are feeling better and getting over your cold. Please take care and I will try to fire up Yahoo messenger tonight.
Hugs to you little one.
Age is just a number, Stef. It's what comes from the heart that matters. You'll always be a special part of our family. ((HUGS))
Ditto what the others have said, Stef. {{{hugs}}}
PS - I'm a writer and started the blog as my journal. It was only after Nancy, Lori and Flinty started posting their blog addys that I made mine a little more public.
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