Three Years

March 2005: Its my senior year in high school. Not much more time to go before graduation. My mom tells me that my grandfather has cancer. I knew there was not much to be done about that kind of thing, but I guess I was stupid back then. My grandma seemed to be handling it all. Sure we visited him but we were not always allowed "in". My best friend's sister was set to get married some time in mid march. I was asked to photograph. It was the night of the shower. My parents dropped me off and picked me up and on the ride back home I knew something was dreadfully wrong. Nobody told me till the next morning though that he had passed away that night.

March 2006: Its spring break of my first year in college. I walk in the door and my mom and brother appear to be waiting for me. I knew my uncle had lung cancer but until now we had been hopeful. I thought that he would be able to live for years since he was just diagnosed a few weeks before. My mom said they stopped treatment and it would not be long. I only had a week off. I spent the majority of that week at there house. Waiting with family. When I was not at there house I was babysitting the children. Anything to help out. I was there the night he died. Right next to him when she stopped breathing, and I listened to every moan my aunt made. Nobody had to tell me he was dead that time.

November 2007: Finals week at school. I knew she was not doing great. She is so strong I thought she would hold out for me to get home. More then anything I wanted to be there for her and my family. I knew it would be hard, but I knew I had to do it. She died 2 days before my last final exam. I had to wait there. Wait to finish my exam and only then could I home to my family. I was closest to you, and I did not even get to say goodbye.

Three years have been hard. Three years I should have been growing into a normal adult but instead I feel more messed up then ever. I wish it was all different. I wish you could have seen me graduate from High School. I wish you all could see me graduate from College. I miss you. More then you could ever know.